They Want Me to Buy New Shoes

(Said sneakers pictured above)

They want me to buy new shoes, but I will not.

And, by “they”, I mean my sister and boyfriend. If I told my friends that I threw out my sneakers and was currently “sneaker-less” (running shoes aside), one can bet that a similar sentiment would be expressed.

Granted, these sneakers were worth every penny of the $55 I paid for them back in the fall of 2016. They lasted three years, multiple spins in the washing machine, and thousands of miles on my feet in over fifteen countries and too many cities for me to count. They went the distance. Until, of course, they became permanently discolored, developed gaping holes in the soles, and the interior cushioning wore straight through to a point beyond repair.

To this day, I miss them. But, no, I will not be replacing them.

Yes, this seems counter-intuitive. “But they lasted three years” and “obviously they were good quality” one might say; yet, I refrain from tapping the few clicks on my phone that would have them quickly shipped again to my door.

Okay, okay, I’ll tell you why.

First of all, I have fifteen OTHER shoes that are in perfectly good condition with excellent soles. Maybe they won’t look as cute with my outfits as my white sneaks did, but it has forced me to break out my lesser used pairs and bring them out into the light of day. I’ve gone outside of my comfort zone with my footwear and I’m actually loving it. In fact, I might even go as far to say that I’m looking more fashionable and classy than ever? That’s a win in my book.

Second, my white sneakers had to be tossed into the trash can and will end up in a landfill. Nothing irks me more than throwing away shoes. Clothes can be turned into rags, torn apart and reconstructed into something new, or worst case: donated. Shoes though, they don’t seem to have much of an alternative future (besides the quaint and quirky shoe garden in San Francisco). With that knowledge, I can’t bring myself to buy a new pair that will once again, in approximately three years time, end up in a garbage heap too. Since I started this project, I’ve become much more conscious and careful where and from which companies I purchase my clothes and products, and generally speaking, if I don’t buy something secondhand, then I buy sustainable, biodegradable materials (which are generally natural and non-plastic) that will decompose. And when buying new shoes, I buy ones that I know I’ll love forever and can be repaired and re-soled to last me the length of my lifetime. Unfortunately, my favorite sneakers did not fit that bill.

Third, I’m seeking a minimalist lifestyle, and fifteen shoes even feels like a lot to own. Especially since I have two sets of flip flops and triple pairs of black boots. Yes, I love and wear them all (they survived my Marie Kondo and Minimalism Challenge purge), but it’s still fifteen pairs. So, no, I don’t need to add a sixteenth pair to my wardrobe when I have three weeks’ worth of all weather shoes that serve me just fine.

With my new minimalist, sustainable mindset, buying a new pair of sneakers seems like the epitome of frivolity. How fragile is my life that I can’t go without owning a pair of white shoes? A mere hundred years ago, most people were lucky to own two pairs of shoes. Now, we feel deprived if we don’t have a closet full of sneakers or heels to match every single outfit in more colors and style combinations than could possibly be worn in one person’s lifetime.

They want me to buy new shoes, but, no thanks, I know I can go without.

 

Marie Kondo Changed My Life

Full disclosure: perhaps like many of you, I had heard of this book in passing but was skeptical about the snippets I caught about “touching an object to see if it gives you joy” and “folding your socks in a way that lets them rest”. Eye roll. But then my cousin told me how after reading the book she managed to donate six bags of clothes. I had been feeling for some time (my whole life?) that I had too many clothes, and it stressed me out, so this caught my attention in a way that I couldn’t shake.

Shortly after she told me this, I logged onto my Overdrive app and downloaded the audio book at no extra cost(!) thanks to my library membership, and started listening. About 20% of the way in, I couldn’t help myself and got to work going through my closets. They were already fairly lean, so I was no where close to having 130 shirts/tops, for example, that the author, Marie Kondo states is the average for her clients; but I nevertheless managed to get rid of two bags of clothes, shoes, and accessories. Next, was reorganizing my closets per her directions. I wish I had taken a before picture, but here are the “after” photos (ignore the pile of dirty laundry in the corner-I’ve since started folding them like the crazy Kondo-method convert I’ve become):

Other than my work-out clothes, coats, shoes, and undergarments that are stored in another location, these are the only clothes that I now own! And, look, there is actually space between the hangers and room for me to hang up my backpack inside. Previously, they were jam-packed together and organized by work clothes in one closet and leisure/other in the second closet. Now, they’re organized by type of clothes, with the longer/heavier ones on the left, with the shorter/lighter garments moving towards the right side of the closet. I can’t tell you how much I love opening up my closet now! I no longer cringe upon turning the door handle, or have feelings of guilt about having too many clothes.

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Pre-Kondo, this drawer was overflowing to the extent that I couldn’t shut it. Now it’s neatly organized and the top easily closes! I am so proud.

An unexpected benefit of only having items of clothes that inspire joy is that I’m wearing more of my clothes now. I can finally see everything that I own, and I’m excited to wear all of them. Not to mention, that the urge to go shopping has completely dissipated– something I didn’t think would ever happen. And when I eventually acquire a new item (it’s inevitable, I’m only 30), you can bet I’m going to be extremely selective about what I bring into my haven of organization.

Kondo’s only metric for keeping or discarding an item is as follows: does it inspire joy? and will it make you happier by owning it? If the answer is yes, keep it. If no, then give or throw it away. Indeed, the only rule that you need to live by is the one you make for yourself. The only measure is your happiness. When was the last time you were given that freedom? Forget the rule of: “if you haven’t worn or used it in a year, toss it.” If owning 100 books inspires joy for you, then fill up your closets with leafy texts. If stilettos are your source of glee, then stack those shoeboxes to the ceiling. However, if any one of those books or shoes inspire an emotion other than joy, you’ve got to toss it to the curb.

I’m not going to tell you that it’s an easy process. In fact, I was seriously exhausted from a combination of decision fatigue and lugging boxes up from my basement. But, it was 100% worth it this morning to experience the feeling of taking the below containers (bags of clothes not pictured-I’m saving them for an upcoming clothing swap) to the thrift store.

Kondo helpfully provides detailed instructions for which categories of items in your home to start with (first, clothes; then, books, papers, misc., and finally, sentimental mementos) and then gets into the nitty gritty tips and guidelines that will guide you in sorting through the items for each category. Trust the process and follow her method; I can tell you from personal experience that it works. I completed going through the final category last night and managed to get rid of half of my photo albums and photos. I no longer felt obligated to keep photos of extended family members or people that were no longer important in my life. #SorryNotSorry

The “before” picture is on the left and the “after: picture of what I discarded is on the right. I manged to toss my old yearbooks, random small photo albums, old scrapbooks, and a huge pile of photos that did not inspire joy in me. This part was especially emotionally draining as I re-lived the whole spectrum of old emotions, and then pointedly decided to let them go.

 

In the chapter covering the “memento” category, Kondo reminds the reader of the importance of living in the present, and that if the memories were truly special and important, then we don’t need photographs to remember them. Old letters and cards fall into this category, too. I re-read greeting cards from friends and family members, and then only kept the ones that gave me particularly happy feelings, and were special enough to hold on to and take up valuable real estate in my house. As a result, I actually took the time last night to look through my newly improved photo album and enjoyed each and every photo, since it was now filled with pictures that fill me with joy.

The other reason that this book is so aptly named “life-changing” is that Kondo insists that her clients group all of the items of a particular category (clothes, books, papers, batteries, etc.) in one specific location in their home. This has three purposes.

  1. You will easily be able to find your possessions and you will rarely misplace items again! After I completed my round of tidying up, I found at least three “missing” items that I hadn’t been able to find in months.
  2. You will know exactly what you have on hand, which translates into avoiding over-buying or repeat-buying of a certain item.
  3. You will be able to monitor and control the accumulation of objects in that category and cut yourself off before it gets too late and you have stuff that isn’t giving you joy.

In conclusion, I can’t stress the value of this book and its principles enough. You will truly be shocked about how much money, time, and stress you will save if you put her methods into practice.  Your physical space will be clear and you will have room to live out your values in the way that works best for you.

Tidy away and let me know how it goes!

-Abi